day there was a boy named Gabby , he was playing his video games until something came up on the screen and it said " you have to solve this four problems before you can play your game. Get them all right , you get a special version of Rock Band. Then it showed , ( + 5 ) + ( - 3 ) = ? " Hm, Gabby solved it right away he said that the answer is :
Then after he solved it it said " Good job , you have figured out the first one. Now you have to figure out three more and then you can play the special new game. " He went outside and he found the second problem on the ground and it said " Your getting closer , now you next problem is ( + 9 ) + ( - 6 ) = ? ". Gabby thought that this was a little hard so he used algebra tiles. Then he got it. He has the answer. And the answer is :
Gabby started to play basketball. He threw the ball so hard it went over the neighbors fence, while he went around to get his ball he found the third problem and it said : " Your doing great, one more problem and you can finally play the new version of Rock Band. And you problem is ( - 9 ) + ( + 9 ) = ? ".
Gabby finished his third problem , now all there is left to do is wait for the last problem. After a long wait , it finally showed up . And it said " This is your last problem and it will be a hard one. If you get this right then you can play Rock Band. Here is your last problem ( + 10 ) + ( + 9 ) = ? good luck ".
Gabby walked back in, and checked is he could play the game now. He walks in the living room and sees Rock Band on the floor and on it had a message that says : " Now you know your integers, Have fun playing Rock Band. "
Your story was great, I just think that you should put more detail in where Gabby found these questions specifically and there are a few spelling mistakes in the beginning. I also think that you should add a few more sentences in your paragraphs because it looks kind of short. GOOD JOB!
October 29, 2008 at 8:08 PM
Hey Gian!! Amazing story. I liked the way you used "Rock Band" as the motivation for Gabby to answer integer questions. However, I have never met a guy named Gabby. Anyways one thing you might look for is spelling mistakes, I saw a couple. Another thing is uhhh... the answer for a couple of the questions. But other than those 2 things your story was awesome!!
October 30, 2008 at 7:41 PM
Hey Gian, Good job on your story. couple of mistakes on puctuations, dont put spaces after a word when putting a comma. it will be better if you put the questions in different colours. And so does some pictures are a little boring. i can't see the white tiles clearly, you should've put it on bright colours. theres's some spelling mistakes too. I love that you use Gabby as the character.
OH, OH by the way, Nicko that's her brother's name :D
November 1, 2008 at 6:39 PM